Whod you bang
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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