Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
