he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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