Your tits are I can't wait for
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
