But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
