im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
my god I love twenty year old dicks
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
