i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Boobs speak an international language.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
