Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize