:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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