I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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