How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
