Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
