My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
