looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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