well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
