So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
