This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
