I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
