I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
