Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
