your thong is hanging out like whoa
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
