how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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