when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
