Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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