wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize