Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
did i just pee glitter
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
