Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
