Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
