Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize