He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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