his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
