i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize