we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
