My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
