i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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