I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
