Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
