nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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