How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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