once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
