my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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