LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Two words: nipple clamps
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