the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
