My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
