Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
