i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
