why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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