Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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