I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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