god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You're like the curious george of whores
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
