you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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