Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
