Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
