his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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