He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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