3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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