so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
