so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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