No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
