He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if only i could text you this smell
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
